I’d Do Anything But Vote Tory - Blue Or Red

I’ve got another guest blog for you here. This thoughtful piece was put together by @Wolendov - please give him a follow. 

The one and only Rachael Swindon has generously offered me this space on her blog to give you my perspective and insights on politics, among other things. 

We’ll soon learn whether or not she regrets the decision to offer me this spot.

As a first order of business, perhaps it’s appropriate to introduce myself. The name’s hideous, so you’ll just call me Wollus. It’s a pleasure, it’s a pleasure, nice to meet you, thank you, oh and you. You’re all here, that’s nice. Gather around, chums, this is going to either be a first of many or a last one forever.

I myself am apolitical. What that means is that I’m not some chump with fence indentations on my backside like your average centrist, but rather an enlightened and ascended being that has understood the flaws of mankind that we were all made with. We are all inevitably corruptible. Some have a higher tolerance to the lure of corruption and the hunger for power, but no one is incorruptible. As such, as a species we are not designed to lead and represent such large groups of people. You can only trust the leader that actively depends on you for survival. You cannot trust some liar with a nice tie that has never met you, or at most has met you for a whole 5 seconds and pretended to be interested in you, to represent you in his or her leadership.

The challenge is finding someone with the will and the ability to lead, with a tolerance to corruption higher than the worst your government has to offer. 

The question is if someone like that exists.

Unfortunately for me, and others like me, there is no valid alternative without an idealist overhaul of the existing system. That doesn’t mean I don’t vote, on the contrary, I give my vote to my wife. It would be an insult to those brave heroes who “died for the values they believed in so that I could vote freely.” Although, in my honest opinion, I think they died because they were drafted into a war they never wanted to protect a government that never appreciated them, to be killed by a government that would otherwise enslave them. The best I can hope for is that some incorruptible, sentient alien civilisation finds us and takes over the planet and its leadership, preferably without killing or enslaving us all. But what are the chances of that happening? I’m by nature fairly optimistic, but I have better chances of getting into heaven and not because it doesn’t exist.

One thing is for certain, kingdoms rise and fall, no matter what road we take to get there. Maybe if I live long enough to see us destroy ourselves this life of suffering will have been worth it. 

Looking around myself, I can sometimes see through the city smog and notice that our world is on fire. We’re not destroying our planet, the planet will be just peachy being a few degrees hotter. We’re destroying the planet’s ability to host us as the parasitic life-form we are. And despite our amazing potential as the first truly intelligent life-form on this planet the best we could do is ruin it for everybody. Maybe in a few million years time there’ll be another intelligent life-form that just-so-happens to be into getting a suntan.

Now, and here is the really sad part, over the course of my life I’ve met some great people and I’ve come to really care for them. Care for them in a way where I actually feel things for them, and not just emulating the expected emotions. I know, it’s terrible. Now it’s like I have to make decisions to improve their chances of survival or I’d be a bad person. Having friends has saddled me with these unachievable expectations and it weighs me down every day. So what do I do to improve their lives, their quality of life, their opportunities in life? 

I do anything but vote Tory - Blue or red. Anything at all. 

Sometimes it’s hard, sometimes the temptation to be truly evil and the desire to watch our downfall and inevitable destruction makes me want to do things to speed that process up, like voting Tory. I love a bit of chaos, as a sadist I enjoy a bit of pain and suffering, but my friends... Golly, why did I have to make friends? It’s like voting Tory is now no longer an option if I truly care about them. It’s hard, but I’ve learned to cope. In the past, during Labour leadership, my internet traffic to LiveLeak increased a dozenfold. We all have our own little measures of coping with the reality around us.

How can we go on doing what we do and pretend to be doing the right thing? We’re all hypocrites, we’re all corruptible, we’re all going to die. Many of us don’t deserve to die the way we’re going to. Cold, alone, forgotten with your only company being an underpaid NHS nurse who checks in every four hours or so and a decade old flat-screen TV stuck on a telemarketing program. You’re going to die soon and your last thought is going to be “I should get one of those handy mops.” How does it make you feel to be alive now in the present knowing that this is going to be the inevitable future for most of us?

When a person dies and there’s no one around to notice, was it ever alive? If we as a species inevitably succumb to mass-extinction and there is no intelligent life-form to document our destruction, did we ever exist? The universe is massive and our existence is a mere blip in its nothingness. Nothing matters, nothing has ever mattered, except for the things you choose matter to you. What matters to me is having a little bit of fun along the way. 

It’s about the journey, not the destination. So buckle up, because the journey is going to be a rough one. 

Especially if these knobheads keep voting in the Tories.