Boris Johnson: ‘Twas The Nightmare Before Christmas

You’ve seen the memes. Boris Johnson, the Grinch who stole Christmas. It’s not an unreasonable comparison, by any means. 

The Grinch is depicted as a hairy, pot-bellied, pear-shaped, snub-nosed creature with a cat-like face and cynical personality. He has spent the past 53 years living in seclusion on a cliff, overlooking the town of Whoville. 

Boris Johnson is also a hairy, pot-bellied, pear-shaped, snub-nosed creature with a fatcat-like face and a cynical personality, amongst other things. Although Johnson has spent the past 56 years living a life most of us will never experience, never wanting or needing for a single thing, Eton, powdering his nose, looking down on the poor and working classes, hiding in a fridge. 

As far as I’m aware, the Grinch didn’t have any children, Boris Johnson however, has at least six. 

So the characteristics may well be comparable, but the monstrous shameless unkempt creature, Boris Johnson, is in a different league of awfulness altogether. 

I’ve read many opinions regarding Johnson’s decision to ‘cancel’ Christmas, ranging from fairly logical explanations to full on Icke-like conspiracy theories.

All of you famous reporters with the blue ticks berating Johnson right now, what did *you* do to enable this government? There was an alternative, you just had an issue with wonky glasses. 

In my opinion, Boris Johnson’s biggest error was telling the nation they could have a five day Christmas when he really wasn’t in a position to do so. He gave people false hope. He promised something he had absolutely no idea if he could deliver on. 

For a similar example, take a look at Brexit. Greatest deal ever. Get Brexit Done. Oven-ready. £350 million a week. Take back control? They’ve certainly got control.

This is how Boris Johnson has got by in politics. He will promise you the world, scruff up his hair, bang on the desk a few times, and then call you unpatriotic when you fail to applaud his catastrophic failure. 

Some people are convinced Johnson planned out the Christmas cancellation to cause as much bedlam as possible, and while I remain convinced the lack of clear communication from Downing Street throughout the pandemic has caused widespread confusion, I think you would be giving Johnson way too much credit if you think he is capable of intentionally generating the confusion. 

I used to think along those lines, but honestly, Johnson is an utterly incompetent tsunami of inadequacy. He couldn’t plan the running of a bath. 

The confusion is a consequence of Boris Johnson’s gross incompetence. He is entirely negligent. 

And that pretty much applies from the day the world first went into a lockdown, because that’s when Boris Johnson thought it was a good time to go on holiday, so he had a bit more time to write his book. 

Johnson is many things. A philanderer, a liar, a racist, a misogynist, a bully, a coward, a nasty piece of work, and be in absolutely no doubt of that. But don’t credit him with the ability to pull off a master plan, because that takes planning. 

Show me some evidence that backs up Johnson’s ability to even put together a simple risk assessment. Maybe show me some evidence that tells me how Boris Johnson put together a plan (beyond booking a hotel room for his latest fancy woman) - and how he successfully delivered on his plan, on time, and within budget. 

Good luck with that. 

I feel genuinely saddened for all of you who planned to see your relatives, or have a proper catch-up with friends, but in other ways, I’m a bit relieved. The deadly virus is on the march. We are told a new super-virulent virus is spreading. It would appear Coronavirus is once again, out of control. I don’t want any of you to come to any harm. 

Boris Johnson didn’t steal Christmas, he completely screwed it up. Stealing would take planning, and we’ve already covered that. He is incapable. 

Don’t credit him as some sort of cunning genius, for he is neither. He is a catastrophe. He spent five decades preparing for the top job, and when the right-wing media and the Labour smearers and liars handed him an eighty seat majority, he didn’t know what to do with it. 

Johnson’s dithering has ruined the Christmas plans for a lot of people, and he must be held accountable for his mistakes, but compared to his dithering when the pandemic initially arrived upon our shores, and tens of thousands of our loved ones unnecessarily lost their lives, his Christmas clusterfuck doesn’t even register. 

Before I go, just take a look at this Daily Mail front page from October last year, shortly after the General Election was called. 

That’s right. Jeremy Corbyn was going to steal your Christmas. This is coming from the same tabloid that thought I was worthy of doorstepping, and they even accused Jeremy Corbyn’s staff of giving Boris Johnson Covid-19. But these days they host the current Labour leader when he wants to demand our children are sent back to unsafe schools, without an adequate test and trace system in place. 

Here’s just one more front page, just to remind you of how Boris Johnson rolls. 

It’s all about commitments that he will never be able to fulfill, three word sound bites, the finger-pointing, and some unsightly faux patriotism, designed to trigger the Tommy Robinson’s that lurk deep inside the enemies of the progressive left.

What a shame Boris Johnson’s Conservatives haven’t been held to account by Her Majesty’s Official Opposition. Keir Starmer’s Labour Party have been acquiescent at best, and complicit at worst. 

When Britain needed an opposition, offering a different way of doing things, some genuine hope, we got told now wasn’t the time to ask the difficult questions, and instead of going to war with the negligent shambles of a government, Starmer went to war with the British left. 

Unforgivable. Why aren’t you twenty points ahead? Charlatan.

Boris Johnson isn’t going to improve. The Tories will get rid of him soon enough, and he will be replaced by A.N Other Tory. Gove, Sunak, Patel, Raab and maybe even Johnson’s co-defendant, Matt Hancock, will all fancy their chances of replacing the matted Etonian fridge-dweller. 

While Johnson may be an ideal compère, or perfect for an after dinner speech, he isn’t a Prime Minister. He doesn’t look like a Prime Minister, and he certainly doesn’t act like a Prime Minister. 

What a crying shame the alternative isn’t really much better. 

Take care of yourself and your loved ones. You’ll hear from me before Christmas, no doubt, but if we don’t catch up before I wish you a very Merry Christmas, and a peaceful new year x 

Rachael 

Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts, if you want to chip in towards improving my ongoing campaign, and it would cause you *no hardship*, you can do so here: