How To Kill The Tory Party In Less Than Thirteen Years… They Won’t Be Missed

I was listening to a radio phone-in a couple of nights ago and the host of the show was asking their listeners which word best described where we are after thirteen miserable years of Tory rule. 

Of course, there are probably not enough words in the English dictionary to justifiably describe the never ending slow motion car crash that has been brutally foisted upon us by the ruling class. 

The word I was thinking of was “fucked”. 

Crass? Yes. Inaccurate? No. 

For the handful of Tory voters that read this it’s worth pointing out this is very different to telling human beings seeking sanctuary to “fuck off back to France”. 

We’ll talk about that morally reprehensible and hypocritical sack of shit later on. 

If a few expletives hurt your tender eyes after thirteen years of British people starving and freezing to death, literal social murder, you only have to click on the thing that says “DONE” and your pain can come to an immediate end. 

So why “fucked”? 

The Tories have fucked our NHS by underfunding the service, undervaluing the staff, and continued to carve it wide open to the benefit of their multi-millionaire friends and donors. 

Verdict? Fucked. 

The Tories have fucked the fight against the climate emergency, starting with Cameron’s “cut the green crap” pillow talk to the Conservative backbenchers (coincidentally, he apparently fucked a pigs head), and culminating with Rishi Sunak’s abandonment of anything that even barely resembles a green agenda, because they just about managed to cling on to Uxbridge and South Ruislip. 

Verdict? Fucked. 

The Tories - a party that has been put on a false pedestal of economic competence by the right-wing media - have fucked the economy. National debt is way past TWO TRILLION POUNDS and after the economic impact of ideological austerity, Brexit, and the Covid pandemic, along comes Liz Truss just to make sure it’s fucked a bit more.

Verdict? Fucked. 

The Tories have fucked housing, whether that be the constant pressures of soaring interest rates, the national disgrace of 120,000 children being homeless and living in temporary accommodation, the staggering rent increases imposed by greedy landlords in the private rental sector, the 20,000+ families that have been kicked out of their homes since the Tories promised to ban no-fault evictions, or even their fucking tragic inability to build something that we used to call “council estates”. 

Verdict? Fucked. 

The Tories have fucked the social security system. From sending letters to people dying in a coma, asking why they didn’t attend a work capability assessment to the delayed managed migration to the shambolic Universal Credit - still not completed despite a target date of 2017. 

The Tories callously slashed disabled people’s benefits - including people suffering with cancer and Parkinson’s disease - they introduced the bedroom tax, a punitive sanctions regime, mass private sector involvement from root to branch and the entire system is in a constant state of self-inflicted crisis. 

Verdict? Fucked.

The Tories have fucked our relationships with our friends and neighbours from around the world. From the catastrophic handling of Brexit to ministerial threats to join Russia and Belarus leaving the ECHR if Britain isn’t allowed to send refugees to Rwanda. 

The Tories have broken international laws and wholeheartedly support and supply international lawbreakers from Israel to Saudi Arabia with weapons to maim and kill innocent people. 

Britain is the laughing stock of the civilised world. After thirteen painful years of Tory neglect, Britain is even less “great” than it was before 2010. 

Verdict? Fucked. 

Okay, you don’t need me to do a fucking post mortem on the corpse of the Conservative cabal when it is already finding new life just across the floor of the House of Commons.

But I have absolutely no qualms about pointing out the blatantly obvious. The Conservative party - barring an unforeseeable miracle - is dead and buried for at least a generation. 

Not because the opposition is of any use, but simply because the Tory party is a morally bankrupt cesspit, bereft of leadership and principles, screaming “stop the boats” to any one that is idiotic enough to think it’s okay to accommodate refugees on a fucking floating prison. 

The ridiculously false Leenoch Anderson may well think he is speaking for the people when he is inciting hatred from a platform of unwarranted privilege, but opinion polls massively disagree with the love child of Derek Acorah and a fucking lump of shit. 

Anderson speaks for racists, bigots, a rapidly declining number of people that are twattish enough to tune into his man of the fucking people rants on GBeebies and a handful of Tory backbenchers that still believe Britannia rules the waves. 

Essentially, the same group of narrow-minded public dangers that spend their miserable lives crying about drag queens while the country they profess to love is crashing down around their fucking ears.

The party of Winston Churchill, Ken Clarke and Sayeeda Warsi has been pummeled into the ground by the party of Rees-Mogg, Dorries, and the disgraced Boris Johnson.

It is as remarkable that an opposition as vague, feeble, and unambitious as the Labour Party finds itself more than twenty points ahead in the polls as it is the very real likelihood of Rishi Sunak losing his seat at the next election and the Tories being reduced to around ninety parliamentary seats. 

The British people have finally run out of patience with the Conservative party. The populist Johnson is no longer popular. Liz Truss is already heading for the after-dinner speech circuit. Go home vans Theresa May has become the voice of the moderate Tories. And David Cameron likes spending time in his fucking shed.

And when Sunak’s time is up he will be off to the USA with his vast wealth to live happily ever after. 

But what of us? What about the millions of us that were left behind by successive Tory governments? What about the record 7.5 million of us on NHS waiting lists? What about the millions of families living in fuel poverty, unable to adequately beat their home through the winter months? 

We’ll always just be an inconvenient afterthought - if we are lucky - and while the death of the Tory party is to be celebrated please remember to spare a thought for the casualties of thirteen years of Conservative failure. 

If you’ve followed me long enough you will know my thoughts on His Majesty’s snivelling opposition, but today isn’t that day because the death of the Conservative Party as we know it is a moment to rejoice. 

We’ll deal with whatever follows this corrupt and morally reprehensible cesspit of inadequacy when it happens, but for now let’s enjoy the final breaths of this terminally poisonous Tory government and all those that sail in her, through seas of untreated raw sewage.

Until next time, 

Rachael 

Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts, if you want to chip in towards improving my ongoing campaign, and it would cause you *no hardship*, you can do so here: