Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish: The End of Boris Johnson

Well, that was a quiet week, wasn’t it?

I genuinely planned to write a 1,500-word rant about Keir Starmer, his persistent dishonesty, and how he thinks he can “Make Brexit work”, when it is pretty obvious to most of us the best position he could take, for now, is ambiguity, because Brexit isn’t working. 

But the flag vote doesn’t chase itself, as the opportunistic dullard Starmer knows, so expect more Brexity talk from Labour in the near future. 

You see, it takes me several days to put this nonsense together, simply because the news changes on an almost hourly basis, particularly if a government is inconveniently collapsing. 

So forgive me if Nadine Dorries finally does the right thing, amid covering 12 cabinet roles and 36 different ministerial positions, and submits a letter of no intelligence, and I miss it. 

Wednesday the 6th of July was probably the day you remembered just how much you love watching a Tory government rip itself to tiny little toxic shreds. Trouble is, it just doesn’t happen often enough.

One particular highlight was the ‘Levelling Up’ Secretary, Michael Gove, being levelled down. 

A Number 10 source described Gove as a “snake” for briefing the media about his intentions to resign, whilst the same Number 10 source was briefing the media with the details of Gove’s sacking.

It’s no great shock that a sex pest scandal has been the catalyst for the beginning of the end for this rancid government. The only real shock is the fact the pest in question isn’t Boris Johnson himself. 

We knew Johnson was going to be a disaster.  You only needed to look at his past to get an idea of what to expect in the future. 

School? Failed. 

Journalist? Failed. 

Mayor? Failed. 

Foreign Secretary? Failed. 

Husband and father? Failed. 

Johnson has dragged us down to a dark and dangerous place that has made Theresa May’s government look like the halcyon days of integrity and stability. 

Johnson is a foul malignancy masquerading as a Prime Minister, and his time is finally up. 

Thursday morning delivered the joyous news that shameless Johnson, following 59 resignations, was set to resign himself. 

I think it is important to continue countering the Tory propaganda. Johnson and his sycophantic cabal must not be allowed to set the terms of his legacy, that can only be dictated by the facts. 

Boris Johnson didn’t get “all of the big decisions right”, in fact, the only thing he managed to do successfully over the last 3 years was catch Covid-19, allegedly. 

The Covid catastrophe, the failed Tory Brexit, the cost of living crisis, the £37 billion test and trace omnishambles, the proroguing of our Parliament, the PPE contracts going to the friends and family of anyone from a Tory councillor to Matt Hancock’s goldfish, the constant tissue of lies, the parties, the criminality, the sex pests, the cronyism, and of course, the blow jobs. 

He didn’t get anything right. Nothing. And if you see anyone trying to create a glorious legacy for the crestfallen c**t I urge you to put them right with the brutal but entirely indisputable facts.

Remember, the (Conservative) Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.

Thursday lunchtime arrived and the Etonian Yeti dragged his disgraced unwanted carcass to the Downing Street podium for one last flurry of mumbled nonsense and utter bullshit. 

At first I was pretty ecstatic, I mean, I’ve campaigned against him since 2016, whether that be his fraudulent Leave campaign, his time in the Foreign Office, or the last 3 years of shame and ridicule. 

But it didn’t take long for the dust to settle, and the ecstasy soon turned to anger and bewilderment. 

The British media, the Parliamentary Labour Party, Conservative MPs - you enabled Boris Johnson. The last 3 years of national humiliation is entirely yours to own. 

They helped create the monster, but they never had the guts to bring the monster to its knees. The right thing to do and the hard thing to do is quite often the same thing.

You see, when we are at the bottom looking up, the main question may not be ‘how do we get out of this hole?’ In reality, the main question might be ‘how do I get rid of the shovel that I used to dig it? 

We told you what would happen. It wasn’t just from 2019, Boris Johnson has been a dangerous liability that lives by his own set of rules for as long as I can remember. 

It is worth recalling the words of Boris Johnson’s teacher, Martin Hammond, who said this about a 17 year old Boris Johnson, back in 1982. 

“Boris Johnson really has adopted a disgracefully cavalier attitude to his classical studies. [He] sometimes seems affronted when criticised for what amounts to a gross failure of responsibility (and surprised at the same time that he was not appointed Captain of the school for the next half).”

"I think he honestly believes that it is churlish of us not to regard him as an exception, one who should be free of the network of obligation that binds everyone else."

So what happens next? Are you #Ready4Rishi yet? I thought not. Reddies for Rishi would be more believable.

Hands up who wants a Prime Minister with greater personal wealth than the annual GDP of Dominica? I mean, there’s rich, and there’s Rishi Sunak - the richest British politician by a country estate mile. 

For me, Sunak, Patel, Raab, and Truss - the apparent “cabinet big beasts” that lied through their teeth to keep Johnson in the top job - shouldn’t be allowed to be in the running to replace him, and made to face a by-election for their part in enabling the grandiloquent bastard. 

How the fuck are these pitiful minnows “big beasts”, anyway? They might be big beasts in their local constituency, but let’s be honest, there’s not a John Prescott or a John Smith between them. 

If you ever need a decent indicator of just how far we have plummeted over the last few years you need look no further than Jacob Rees-Mogg and Nadine Dorries.

These 2 bloody ludicrous individuals do not belong in any position of responsibility, never mind around the cabinet table of the British government. 

Mogg - the sort of hypocrite that is against abortion while making money from pills that cause an abortion - would be over-promoted as a pencil sharpener auditor. There’s no place for Jacob Rees-Mogg’s type of politics in the 21st century because the man belongs in the 19th century. 

And Dorries? Her forte was eating Ostrich anus and camel toes, and when she was around playing politics she was handing out £15,000 pay rises to her daughter that used to work for her. 

You paid for this exceptionally generous pay rise, of course, but I doubt you expected anything less. 

But for now, let’s be content with seeing the beginning of the end of Boris Johnson’s career, and while we have no idea what is waiting around the corner, you can be absolutely sure we will be ready for whatever inadequate toxic mishap next falls off the Conservatives conveyor belt. 

Until next time, 

Rachael 

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