Tory Reshuffle: How To Go From Bad To Utterly Diabolical
The perfect reshuffle would involve Johnson and his entire cabinet of hateful ghouls shuffling out of Downing Street and making their way to the after-dinner speech circuit, and they are very welcome to take the Tory reservists in the Labour Party with them.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
It’s very easy to suggest Johnson has just swapped one soulless bastard for another, so I will, because that’s exactly what he has done. And some.
Let’s take a look at the Education top job.
Former fireplace salesman and tarantula fan Gavin Williamson, is no longer in charge of education, which is of course wonderful news, because Williamson has been a disaster from the day he walked into the Department of Education.
There has been a long standing theory that Williamson, being a former Tory chief whip, will know where the bodies are buried. That’s why Theresa May gave him the job of Defence Secretary, and Boris Johnson kept him on as Education Secretary, despite his absolutely catastrophic handling of the GCSE and A-level results, and despite his promise to provide a device for any child that needed to learn from home during the lengthy periods of ‘lockdown’.
Williamson used to make a big thing about protecting the “poor and most disadvantaged children” - so they didn’t miss out on their education. See, these words would actually mean something had he not voted to cut benefits, on FIFTY ONE occasions.
That’s how much Gavin Williamson cares about the poor and most disadvantaged children.
The final straw for Williamson was nothing to do with his abject failure as the Secretary of State for Education. During an interview, Williamson told the Evening Standard he had met the England footballer Marcus Rashford on Zoom - when he had in fact met with England rugby star Maro Itoje.
His confusion proved to be costly.
But what about his replacement?
The turd-loaded conveyor belt of Tories rotated, and off dropped former Vaccine Minister, Nadhim Zahawi.
Johnson was keen to point out that this promotion was because of his excellent handling of the vaccination rollout.
Are we supposed to believe the rollout, which has been successful, was *anything* to do with that awful rent-a-gob Zahawi?
The success of the vaccine rollout was down to the absolute brilliance of our NHS. It was fuck all to do with Zahawi. Let’s be absolutely clear about that.
And if we really must give Zahawi any credit, then it is only right that Dido Harding - someone who Zahawi once claimed was working “19 hours a day” - takes her blame for her £37 billion test and trace shambles, that was handled by the private sector - despite the Tories, the media, and the Labour Party inaccurately describing it as “NHS test and trace.”
Don’t ever let them get away with these lies.
Let’s talk about Zahawi some more.
He was the second Tory MP to block me on the way to being blocked by at least 86 Conservative MPs. I was never rude, I merely challenged the MP in question with a few facts, and rather than engage they would just hit the block button.
Lots of MPs have second jobs that pay generous wages, for very little work, indeed, some might say that could be said for their first job as an MP, but in my own experience that isn’t strictly true. But when it comes to earning a few extra quid, Mr Zahawi is gold medal standard.
Zahawi's various roles resulted in him reportedly being the second highest earning MP in the UK as of 2017. His declarations in the "Register of Members' Interests" included - as of November 2015 - the following employment and earnings:
Non-executive director of the recruitment company SThree (monthly salary £3,333) and Chief Strategy Officer of Gulf Keystone Ltd, an Iraqi oil company (monthly salary of £20,125).
There’s more.
He is also a 50% shareholder of Zahawi and Zahawi Ltd, and holds shares in SThree and polling firm, YouGov, of which he was a co-founder and former chief executive.
In the Register of Members' Interests of 9 February 2015, he also declared shares in Genel Energy plc, an Anglo-Turkish exploration and production company within the oil and gas industry.
His declared property interests are:
Residential property and 31 acres of land in Warwickshire, with stables run as a livery yard by Zahawi and Zahawi Ltd; residential buy-to-let property in London, divided into three flats; a house in London (Putney), rented out from 30 June 2015; and commercial property in Surrey, purchased on 29 September 2015 and rented out through Zahawi & Zahawi Ltd.
And this morning is just what we know of!
I’m not finished with him yet.
The New Education Secretary Zahawi once insisted that poor parents "actually prefer" to pay a "modest sum" for their kids' school meals. How on earth would this abysmal creature, the multi-millionaire Zahawi, know what poor parents prefer? He hasn’t got a fucking clue.
Back in October last year, footballer Marcus Rashford was leading the opposition, and Zahawi told Times Radio that it is not just as simple as “writing a big cheque” to pay for free school meals over the course of half term.
Is he having a fucking laugh?
It wasn’t difficult writing those cheques for all of that PPE from Tory councillors, friends, and donors, was it?
Do you remember how simple it was for Serco and Deloitte to get a big cheque written for them when their call handlers were picking up £1,400 a day?
And what about Zahawi himself? The loaded hypocrite was more than happy to take a big cheque from the taxpayer for £5,822 - to heat the stables in his second home. He even claimed back expenses of 31p for paperclips - and 10p for some glue!
Do you ever get the feeling these parasites are ripping you off?
I’m still not finished with him.
Nadhim Zahawi has voted 46 times to cut benefits, such is his concern for the welfare of our children. But he also voted against a bankers bonus tax 15 times.
Austerity for the people, corporate welfare for the bankers, the polluters and big business.
How very Tory.
Let’s give the Conservatives carousel of crap another spin.
We’ve landed on the Department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport, and some chap called Oliver Dowden has fallen off. Dowden looks pretty inoffensive, but he is a Tory, which means he doesn’t even have a sniff of a soul. If I remember correctly, he was a bag carrier for David Cameron, and now he is the co-chairman of the Conservative Party and a Minister without Portfolio - which I can only assume means he gets paid a ministerial salary for doing nothing.
But Dowden isn’t really the problem, is he?
The replacement eats ostrich testicles, you see. For cash, of course.
The Right ‘Honorable’ Nadine Dorries.
Now try saying that out loud without laughing, before you realise it’s real, and that feeling of someone walking over your grave kicks in.
Let us be absolutely clear about Dorries. She would be overqualified as a paper clip auditor.
How the fuck of all fucks do you go from comparing gay sex to incest, and retweeting Tommy Robinson, to a senior Cabinet Position in the space of a few years?
The only logical answer, that doesn’t involve DNA tests, would be to assume this is *exactly* the sort of character that Johnson is looking to surround himself with.
An enabler of racism, promoted by a racist.
Tory Britain, not Hungary.
Dorries is another that voted for cut after cut, throughout the governments of Cameron and May. The poor kept getting poorer, rough sleeping numbers exploded and more than 100,000 children didn’t even have a place to call home.
But the new Culture Secretary certainly didn’t tighten her belt when it came to dishing out public money.
Dorries gave a close friend £51,000 from parliamentary expenses for "marketing".
She also paid her daughters £80,000 from the public purse to work in her office, and gave one of them a £15,000 pay rise.
This, at a time when nurses were facing one real-terms pay cut after another.
Austerity for nurses, pay hikes for the Dorries family.
Can you see why I get so pissed off with these malevolent scroungers?
We are constantly spoon-fed stories of ‘Benefits Britain’ by the media. The same media want you to hate a refugee in a rubber dinghy while turning a blind eye to the behaviour of this tragic fucking abomination of a government.
Seriously, if you think a refugee has come here to fleece our benefits system then you probably haven’t had a great deal of experience with the DWP, and you probably believe The S*n when they tell you to hate on a single mother stealing some food from the shop to feed her kids, while paying no attention whatsoever to the new Housing Secretary, Michael Gove, who just last month pocketed donations worth £100,000 from a property developer.
Nothing to see here then!
I really don’t want to get on to Gove today, because I’ll find myself getting even more pissed off when I remember how he once claimed expenses of £13,200 to move home. Thirteen grand, and you all paid for it.
And then there’s Gove and his taste for costly furnishings, purchased from Oka, an upmarket interior design firm established by Lady Annabel Astor, David Cameron's mother-in-law.
You purchased Gove a £331 Chinon armchair from the store, a £750 Loire table - although Commons authorities only allowed him to claim £600 - and a birch Camargue chair worth £432.
Gove spent more than £7,000 in five months furnishing his London home before "flipping" his second home designation to a new house bought in Surrey - the one you paid more than £13,000 for him to move to.
See, I really shouldn’t get started on Gove.
This is your real Benefit Britain. Granted, it didn’t happen yesterday, but this is what they will get away with, if they can.
The single mum pinching a pack of sausage rolls isn’t a problem, the refugee in the dinghy isn’t the problem, and we can’t even pin this one on Jeremy Corbyn.
The problem is the government that you elect. The problem is the lack of accountability for politicians.
If you think the poor are fleecing you I can only urge you to take a look at what the Tory government is doing to you. They are bleeding you dry. Just because you can’t see it happening, it doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.
Like I said way back at the start, it doesn’t matter how you shuffle a bunch of equally repugnant compulsive Tory failures, because you’ll still end up with the same problematic disgraces to humanity calling the shots.
Look at the names I’ve mentioned. Gove, Dorries, Williamson, Zahawi - how the hell did we end up with these people holding some of the highest offices in the land?
It’s like a Come Dine With Me guest list from the bowel of Satan.
Please, Britain, well, England:
Stop voting for Conservative governments.
Until next time,
Rachael x
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