Two Years Too Long: Boris Johnson Must Go

Here’s a rarity. 

I usually know what I am going to write about as the week progresses. I’ll see something in the news, it might be an injustice, an attack on democracy, a dreadful PMQs, the electoral ups and mostly downs of the Labour Party - it doesn’t take much to get me ranting.

But this week, I got right up to last night, undecided, genuinely wondering what to talk about.

And then it clicked. 

On May 24, 2019, Theresa May finally announced her resignation after her proposed EU Withdrawal Agreement was voted down multiple times in Parliament. 

It seems like a lifetime ago now. We had so much hope. We had genuine optimism. We had solidarity. 

But we also had 95% of the British press telling us free broadband was communism at its finest, after all, Kim Jong-il and Jo Stalin often used to WhatsApp each other after a day of Commie calamities. 

We had 80% of the centrist Parliament Labour Party putting 10 times the amount of effort into attacking the twice-elected Labour Party leader than they ever put into attacking Cameron, May or Johnson and their rotten governments. 

And then the unimaginable prospect of Boris Johnson succeeding Theresa May as the UK's Prime Minister became reality, on July the 24, 2019. 

Two years of Boris Johnson. 

He was only ever elected to ‘Get Brexit Done’.

Well, Mr Johnson, you’ve done the Brexit thing, the supermarket shelves seem to be somewhat sparse, farmers and fishermen that wanted to take back control of their cows and their cod have realised your deal was absolutely worthless, and refugees are still arriving, much to the disgust of Incitement grandee Farage and ‘Crafty wank’ Grimes. 

That’s your Brexit done. You got what you voted for, so I say simply to the failed former Mayor, failed former Foreign Secretary, and failed Prime Minister, it’s time to pack your bags and fuck off. 

Go and enjoy your “three hundred thousand and thirty four, nine hundred and seventy four thousand” children, and your beautiful pregnant wife, because not only have you screwed Lord only knows how many women, while your previous wife was being treated for cancer - you utterly ghastly c**t - you have screwed an entire nation for at least a generation. 

Now, I know you’re thinking about the equally useless horror show of potential replacements - Gove, Patel, Raab, Sunak - and you’re thinking something like ‘what’s the point in Johnson leaving if the ghouls lined up to replace him are just as bad, if not worse?’ 

I hear you. I absolutely understand that point. 

But if we tolerate this, then your children really will be next, because we, as in us, are setting the standards of acceptability for years to come. 

Do this hypothetical thing with me for a sec. You own a garage, your mechanic is always late, he lies, he frequently makes racist remarks, he buys car parts from a friend at vastly inflated prices - he might’ve attended the very best mechanic school that money can buy, and he really does like the idea of being a mechanic, but when push comes to shove, he’s not really a very good mechanic. 

And there’s a good chance he slept with your wife. 

Do you tolerate this behaviour? Do you just go along with it because you don’t want to poke the hornets nest? Of course you don’t! You send him packing at the first available opportunity, and try another mechanic. 

*Apologies to all mechanics, you’ve always been brilliant when I’ve needed you. I am not a mechanicist etc*

I’ve actually got this far without mentioning Covid-19, so let’s put that right. 

Let’s get this bit out of the way first. Nobody in their right mind expected Boris Johnson to halt the arrival of Covid-19 to these shores. 

But we did expect him to at least put a bit of effort into preparing for the arrival of the killer virus, and doing absolutely everything in his power to limit the unnecessary loss of human life. 

But he didn’t. 

Boris Johnson went on holiday while other global leaders went to work - Jacinda Arden being an obvious example of what leadership should look like during a global crisis. 

He couldn’t be bothered to turn up to vital COBRA meetings, and he told that snogging rodent Matthew Hancock (vom) to get on with it. Well he certainly got on with it alright, although ‘Hancock’s Half Hour’ it wasn’t. Not even if you added each time together, apparently. 

Perhaps it was his warm personality and winning smile. 

Johnson refused to take the virus seriously. He genuinely believed a bit of the old British stiff upper lip would teach that nasty disease a lesson. 

While much of the sensible world went into lockdown, and a proper lockdown unlike the farcical things we’ve witnessed here, that absolute bastard told you to sing happy birthday twice, wash your hands, and everything will be back to normal in 12 weeks. 

Johnson lied, 150,000 died. 

How’s that for a legacy, ‘Boris’? 

Two years, and look at what they have done to us.

“Let the bodies pile high”? 

Why is he still Prime Minister? Why was he EVER Prime Minister? Ah yes, Brexit, and enough people were daft enough to think Jeremy Corbyn could often be seen exchanging policy ideas with Osama Bin Laden at the Islington Drive-Thru McDonalds.  

The removal of Boris Johnson doesn’t mean we will see a general election, of course. It’ll be up to the members of the Tory Party to decide which thunderc**t is inflicted upon the people of Britain. 

Could it be Priti Patel? Think of all of that extra ‘trade’ we would do with the criminal Israel government. 

Or maybe even Michael Gove? I mean, what could be more democratic than having a testicle-faced billionaire media mogul marching in to Downing Street and dictating his own manifesto? 

At least we could do away with the Queen's speech I suppose, because a Gove government is a Rupert Murdoch government, and let’s not pretend otherwise please. 

And what about Her Majesty’s Official Opposition and their leader, Sir Keir Starmer? 

You know my thoughts. But just in case you don’t I am going to point out a few obvious things. 

•They’re not an opposition. 

•The leader isn’t a very good leader 

•They are a party that exists to protect the establishment from the scary possibility of wealth redistribution.

•The lesser of two evils is still evil. 

You’ve probably heard, Mr Starmer is currently trying to lure millionaire and billionaire cash into the Labour Party, following the loss of 120,000 Labour Party members - that’s something like 250 a day since he became Party leader. 

But I say this to you Keir, haven’t you heard about the PayPal grift thing? I can sort you out with a few million from the one blog a week I write, maybe swap me for GMB London, who have just said ‘not another penny’.

Give us an opposition worthy of an army of support and I will bring you the troops. Give us an opposition that is opposed to democratic socialism, and opposed to the radical change that is so urgently needed to get this country back on its feet, and I will bring you opposition. 

I ask you, Keir, what is socialism if not just an ordinary sense of responsibility towards society?

Two years of cowardice beyond anything I could ever imagine. Two years of corruption involving sums that wouldn’t even fit on the screen of the best Casio calculator you can get for a tenner. Two years of lies, I mean, does anyone even bother asking about those FORTY NEW HOSPITALS, or do we just put that in the file that says “never mind, it’s Boris”? Two years of the media acting as Johnson’s PR department. Even now, they find it amusing when he struggles to open an umbrella, at a memorial service. Oh do fuck off you repugnant simps.

They, as in the British press, helped create this monster, and they haven’t got the guts to bring the monster to its knees. The right thing to do and the hard thing to do is quite often the same thing. 

You see, when we are at the bottom looking up, the main question may not be ‘how do we get out of this hole?’ In reality, the main question might be ‘how do I get rid of the shovel that I used to dig it?’

He’s had two years, our society is more divided than ever, he absolutely failed us throughout the Covid-19 pandemic. He is a dangerous liability, and brings nothing but misery to an already shattered nation. 

Boris Johnson must go. 

Thanks for reading. 

Rachael x

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